A letter to a Friend in need

A friend recently quit his job and one of the most reputed consultancy firm, it was long pending he had met me before he was quitting and he was too excited to be in the founding team of this new startup which will “disrupt” and he was pretty excited, it was I could see in his eyes before he was planning to join that he had been waiting for this opportunity to be a part of this glamorous world. Ten days later after he joined and left all the comforts of a HIGH paying consultancy job and where it was DEFINED to some extent what you have TO DO, I got a message from him yesterday – “I am struggling with Startup Mentality, need advice how to stay motivated etc”. So this post might be for everyone but as a head-fake this is for my friend. So I am going to address this to him as someone who has been a part of the startup world for more than 1.5 years now after quitting a comfortable and high paying job at Directi.

Hey Friend,

You won’t believe it when I will say but trust me sooner or later I knew you would message me saying that, I knew that once you join and start working you will realise what it takes to build or sustain a startup and that honeymoon period and glamour period will get over (trust me startups only look glamorous until you start building one :P), but remember now the real game begins everything set and done, as it happens with a marriage – when all the celebrations are done, when the wedding is done, the real life starts – how to build a long lasting marriage – how to be happy, and how to sustain it without losing ourselves (and not end up like “Gone Girl”). 

Now you will have your co-workers who are as fucked up as you are, there will be investors who will be ready with their questions and there will be consumers – who have to be happy. As far as your happiness is considered, you are already seeing the side effects 🙂 But trust me more than anything it is important to stay happy, to stay motivated and to stay ruthless. Here is what my take on how to be all that and not lose yourself, and even then there will be days when you want to shut off everything and sit alone and do nothing but cry, in those moments cry and move on. Because next morning is another battle.

READ

I have stressed this point enough, you must read everyday – one hour everyday. Something that inspires you, autobiography, fiction (I love Harry Potter, it has taught me most of the things in life), or whatever. Read everyday, something new, something old, something you have already read but do read. The people you read about or the people whose stuff you read will inspire you when you hit rock bottom, their words will keep you going – their mistakes will help you from not committing the same mistakes yourself and when you can’t find anyone who you can say feels what you are feeling in that moment, these are the people who will give you solace.

MUST READS: Choose Yourself by James Altucher, Losing my Virginity by Richard Branson, Peter Pan by JM Barrie, Harry Potter by JK Rowling, Jobs by Walter Isaacton, Anu Aunty book by Varun Agarwal, Hope and Help for your Nerves by Claire Weekes, Boost by Max Ogles, Zero to One by Peter Theil, The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. Need more recommendations? Read all these and then call/ping me.

EMOTIONS

Okay you have to learn how to handle emotions. Period. And you will, in Altucher’s words don’t be around people who bring you down, who cause arguments, try to resolve matters with peace, don’t send angry mails (in extreme cases do send), don’t get into bad relationships – if you are in one then get out before it’s too late, most importantly maintain peace with the people with whom you are building the company. And if you are stuck or hit rock bottom, then DO STUFF and get out of it, time doesn’t change anything, doing things changes things. 

TAKE TIME OFF, EMBRACE SOLACE

Once a week and especially the ones on which I am working on weekends as well, I try to find a couple of hours for me – doing nothing, not even thinking ideas on new features or how to get more users. Just relax take time off, embrace solace. You need to enjoy time with yourself when nobody drains anything out of you, others will always drain something out – patience, willpower, happiness, ideas, thoughts. This time is for you. 

FRIENDS

I met Varun from Alma Mater sometime back and he told me an interesting thing and that stuck a chord inside my head, he told me all his friends are not from startup background. And that’s actually true, you don’t want to talk about fundings and valuations and acquisitions when you are taking time off to enjoy with your friends. Have friends like those as well, but have friends with whom you can talk about other things apart from the ones mentioned above. And don’t even friend anyone who doesn’t inspire you and pulls you down – you are already a sinking ship – you can’t have drowning people onboard. Help them, but if they try to pull you down – cut them off.

RUN

Run everyday, you need to be physically fit. And by Run I mean do any exercise but make it a rule and do it. No exceptions. 

WRITE

You can’t believe how good I feel after writing this post, it gets my mind to work – it relaxes me, it gets my thoughts out of me and make me think in a more structured way. I myself was going through a couple of problems mentioned above, and now I feel better.

And last but not the least, turn to Rodinhoods for help 🙂 you will find people who are in the same boat as you and who can help you reach the destination without getting lost.

Yours Sincerely,

A Struggling Entrepreneur