We are an umbilical cord blood banking company operating in healthcare sector in India where our clients are expecting parents. They enroll with us when they are expecting and we preserve stem cells of their baby.
In our routine operational process we have to get in touch with our clients
I was wondering if I could get some expert advice and inputs in making our mails more powerful and engaging so that our clients find it difficult to ignore all the time being client-centric
And all of it without being on the wrong foot with our clients; Our intention is that our clients should like us even when we are demanding them to pay their dues respectfully and mail are compelling enough for them to take the desired action all with a marked difference.
I have appended the existing templates in use below
Thank you!
Formats:
(This is the general first reminder we sent to clients, possibly with a fresh dishonoured payment)
Dear Ma’am/Sir,
A very good day to you!
Did you forget to keep sufficient balance in your bank? These days, with so much going on, it is easy to let something slip. We are yet to receive your current/previous month’s instalment. So, please clear your payment today to avoid penal charges. And, if it is already on its way to us, kindly accept our sincere thanks.
To make the payment, please note the options as below:
1) Online Payment
To make an online payment, please visit our website. On the home page there is a ‘Payment Gateway’ tab. On clicking the tab, you will be directed to the ‘Online Payment Gateway’ page. Thereafter, please opt for ‘Existing Customer’ and fill in the required Client Details before proceeding to pay. using ‘Bill Junction’ (unless you have an Citi Bank card).
Please mail us the auto generated payment receipt for our reference.
2) NEFT/RTGS/Cash or Cheque deposit to company account
Bank A/c
IFS Code:
The second reminder below is for clients who do not necessarily get in touch with us despite the first mail… A quick reminder)
Dear Sir/Madam,
Good day to you!
We wish to gently remind you that one or more of your transactions have been returned unpaid by the bank owing to which they have been rendered overdue. We have been trying to inform you about the same through phone calls and emails. We understand and appreciate how busy you keep throughout the day but hope you will find time to give this important matter attention at the earliest. We will be happy to waive off the related interest and penal charges if your payment is received today.
If this is an error and your payment is on its way, kindly update us about the details to help us reconcile.
In case you have been experiencing any difficulties in paying your dues, please do feel free to communicate the same to us so that we may discuss an alternative payment arrangement
(For clients who still default after the above mails or have at least three dishonoured payments lying due with us)
Dear Madam/Sir,
Good day.
We notice that you are yet to pay us the outstanding amount that we have been trying to inform you about. We do appreciate how busy you keep but wish that you would find time to at least return our calls/mails or communicate any alternative arrangements that you have arrived at. Please pay us at the earliest to avoid interest accumulation or penal charges.
However, if you have paid us already, kindly call us immediately to help update the necessary details. Alternatively, if you are encountering any difficulties in the discharge of your payment commitment, please inform us so that we can discuss suitable arrangements.
When we are dealing with chronic defaulters or clients who have four dishonoured instalments or more
Dear Madam/Sir,
Greetings!
We are writing to you with respect to one or more payment transactions that have been dishonoured by your bank and have, therefore, fallen due as on date. We have attempted to inform you about the same in the last few days but without success. We are somewhat perplexed by your refusal to return our phone calls and emails. Please treat this mail as a reminder to discharge your payment obligation.
Your surprising failure to communicate has left us no choice but to refer your case to our legal and debt collecting agency for further action. Unfortunately, if your outstanding payment is not cleared in the next 2 working days, the stated option will be exercised by us. We, therefore, request you to make the payment in full at the earliest or call us to discuss alternative arrangements.
If you have paid us in the meanwhile, we apologise. Please update us about the details to help us reconcile.
We hope you will find time to give this important matter the attention it deserves. We write to you repeatedly since we value your commitment, as a parent, towards the future health and well being of your child. We urge you to make requisite arrangements to keep your part of the bargain
Ravi Kumar
Hi,
I like the emails you have showcased. However, I have never understood the term “gentle reminder” – why don’t we just call it what is it – a reminder? Same goes for other unnecessary adjectives like “somewhat perplexed” and “surprising failure” 🙂 Removing some of these unnecessary terms will make the mail sharper – brevity is a much appreciated trait for a lot of folks!
Lastly, I hope you include the payment options in the follow-up mails too as I noticed it only in the 1st reminder mail.
Cheers
Ravi
Amit Sarda
Why don’t you include invoices for each payment, at each stage of the email reminders? You can also try and trim the ‘fat’ (pleasantries) to keep the communication short and sweet (a little).
Also, can you add one more payment option (if not already) – to add a recurring payment for the monthly installments?
Are you also sending them SMS as reminders?
Also, I suggest you do not offer to waive off penalties and interest charges, as these defaulters may become wilful defaulters in the future. Once you set a precedent, they would be more serious and professional about payments.
Hope this helps!
asha chaudhry
awesome responses ravi & amit!!
Alok Rodinhood Kejriwal
Piece of trivia (you will laugh)
THE FIRST BLOG THAT STARTED THERODINHOODS.COM on 3rd Nov 2010 was this one by me:
Why doesn’t Jockey Pay me!!???? Arrgggggggg…
Just after the blog hit the web, Jockey called and paid me…
Ashish Haritwal
Thanks Ravi for taking out the time to respond.
Payment options are attached in each of the mail reminders. Omitted here as did not want to repeat.
I agree words used here are not the best of the world and hence the post.
Without those adornments it was not looking quite client-centric and convincing.
Text books say negative news should be indirect and hence tried to follow that.
Ashish Haritwal
Hey Amit! Thanks for the response.
These are mass email reminders where attaching each invoice is not feasible.
Without “fat” pleasantries how else do you suggest we can still come across a client caring organization?
All these are for EMI payments only.Personalized SMS reminders are duly sent out to all already.
For willful defaulters, we do not waive penal charges.
Thanks again! Ashish
Ravi Kumar
Hi Ashish,
Would be interesting once we have some data about the effectiveness of the different types of emails in helping collection – maybe you will be able to do an A/B test about which one is better based on the actual result. There is no one right way and which data says is better will be the one that should be used!
cheers
Ravi
Ashish Haritwal
Exactly Ravi, hence I was looking at inputs to have more persuasive and powerful english language which also keeps in mind the element of being nicer as well as firm
To me I think if I am impressed by the draft of the email it can help me to act and think about it thereafter. I do not want an email that people forget soon after reading it but registers in their mind in a positive way!
asha chaudhry
ashish,
i will be very candid with you (since you requested a word by word feedback/re-write from me!!)
i just googled this – pls check it out. there are different versions of such letters. each of them is concise and businesslike. if i were in your place, i would stick to one of these.
https://www.afyf.com.au/index.php/resources/resource_detail/517
problems i see in your emails – they are unnecessary friendly – why do you need to say greetings/good day? like amit suggested, skip the pleasantries. sometimes being over-friendly dilutes the seriousness of the topic.
your company has provided a service (yes stem cell, etc involves newborns – but these new parents don’t keep the doctor’s/hospital’s bills pending naa?! if they can pay the doc & hospital immediately – so can they pay your company!) so they need to pay up!
i’m a parent as well. so i’m keeping in mind the parent’s perspective.
these kind of emails should be CRISP and very BUSINESSLIKE so you are taken seriously (and the client doesn’t perceive the sender as some joker sitting in the company doing nothing better than sending polite reminder emails).
pls don’t apologise at the end. you can say “if you’ve already paid us, kindly ignore…..”
this closing para borderlines desperation:
“We hope you will find time to give this important matter the attention it deserves. We write to you repeatedly since we value your commitment, as a parent, towards the future health and well being of your child. We urge you to make requisite arrangements to keep your part of the bargain”
instead something like, “Kindly address this issue at the earliest. After all, this investment is towards your child’s future health.” could be the closing line.
hope this helps.
Ashish Haritwal
Thank You Asha! This is indeed helpful and gives me some more avenues to better them.
Jitendra Gursingh
Totally agree with Asha ma’am .. a defaulter is a DEFAULTER no matter how big or small. IMHO, treat the problem at the root .. try not to have customers who are four time defaulters. Do not make any preparation beyond the second time.
If you still have to, it would be to instill fear in the customer’s mind that you may not be able to store the stem cell any further & remind him that you are storing something that is extremely critical for their child in future.
One more thing: Nowadays, RTGS is extremely common & widely used. From what you have described, I understand that you have to collect fees on a monthly / yearly basis. You can simply take a cancelled cheque from the client & on a fixed date the money is debited from his account. I am not too sure of the back end processes in this, but a lot of loan / finance take their EMI in this manner. In this process you save 2 – 3 days in collecting payments & your penalties are auto applied in the next payment.
But first, send ‘expected defaulter’ customers to the competition 🙂