Yoda, Baba Ramdev and Rodinhood. In conversation…

Master Yoda visits me occasionally to impart sacred Jedi knowledge for the purpose of encouraging entrepreneurs. He arrives at will and leaves when he feels I have learnt a few lessons.

Yesterday, I was graced by a visit from Master Yoda, and just as we were about to begin, I heard a knock outside my study. When I opened the door I was shocked to see Baba Ramdev standing outside! Before I could say anything, he strode inside and sat next to Master Yoda!

I was dumbstruck and was about to ask Baba Ramdev to leave, but Master Yoda gave me a glance that meant, “All things in your stride you must take.”

[As you all know, Master Yoda speaks backwards.]

I bowed to Master Yoda and asked Baba Ramdev (BR) what he wanted.

BR said, “Alok bhai, jeete raho. Long lives the Robinhood.”

I frowned ‘coz I had neither bowed nor greeted BR.

I said, “BR, My name is Rodinhood – not Robinhood. D for dhokla if you know the dish that was served to you when you almost died starving…”

BR didn’t care. He said, “I hear that Master Yoddha is in your office, so I comes to met him.” (I can only translate the words, not be grammatically correct as far as BR is concerned.)

I said, “BR, his name is Master Yoda, NOT Yoddha”,

BR said, “Achha hai, achha hai. Waise, I feel Yoddha is a good name for elect-sin.”

Master Yoda solemnly looked at BR and said, “What purpose is it, you come to meet me?”

BR said, “Yoddhaji, I want to asks you to join my army of Orange Warriers. We want to make the India corruption free. You will make good spy, because of your reduced height.”

At that moment I felt like kicking BR out of the window.

Master Yoda slowly turned his head, sideways, nodded, then turned towards BR and said, “Judge not a man by his height. And peace is my war, war is not my peace.”

I raised my voice and said, “Hey BR. Master Yoda is my guru. Speak to him with respect. Please don’t say stupid things to him.”

BR said, “Robinhood dost, shanti, shanti, shanti. It seems Yodhhaji does not kapalbhaati. So his height has got stucks. If he just do 21 days of Pranayam with me, and eats all my medicines and herbs and pills, he will becomes like Bheema. Then, we can all go to Pragati Maidan and jam the Dilli city from there. You write well, so you can write some blog-shog about why petrol should be Rs 13/- and I will fight for that, along with my Orange Warriors…”

Master Yoda looked at BR, blinked twice, raised his hand and said, “Right will and the path of light you need most. Infected seem you by the Dark Force.”

I said, “BR, please listen to the wisdom of my Master Yoda. He has conquered the dark side and the words he speaks carry the gravity of the universe.”

BR seemed to be miffed that Master Yoda was not listening to him, so he leapt and sat next to me.

He asked me, “Robinjibhai… how to make the black currency notes into ‘normal’?”

I said, “What do you mean? The currency notes of India are one color! They are not black and white?”

BR said, “No bhai. You see, you are not corrupted. But all the people in Powers, they have currency notes of black color. They collect it and use it for their owns expenses. They have made the normal rupees black colored and cheated the country. I want to make all the black notes normal. Shall we find them and thrown them in the Yamuna for color removal?”

I realized I was on the verge of some sort of breakdown. I had never met someone so dumb, so stupid and so embarrassing in my entire life.

I said, “Baba Ramdev, you have done well in life so far. You have a following, a name in Yoga. And while you and I know that kapalbhati is actually bad for health and can cause severe damage to the human body, people still worship you! Why do you want to muck it all up? You don’t understand economics or policy or for that matter anything! Why are you ruining your image?”

BR spoke and said, “That is where you are wrong my friend. In India, anyone can pretend to be a guru of anything. If I can teach kapalbhati and make people lose weight, then I can teach Anti Corruption and make India shine. I can be the Prime Minister of India…”

That’s when it struck me that the real game of everyone that tries to create movements in India, is only power. Only power. That’s all they want.

I was shaken and stirred. I meekly looked at Master Yoda and said, “Master Yoda, is there anything you can tell me and BR here on how to make India shine?”

Master Yoda closed his eyes.

After a few minutes he opened them and said, “The worms in the field do not worry about, when a big field you are given. The birds that eat the grain do not worry about, when the field gives big grain. How to make a big field give big grain is what you must worry about, not the worms and birds…”

I understood that Master Yoda had explained that we need to increase India’s produce (big field) and GDP (big grain) rather than worry about small wormy issues here and there (like petrol prices) .

I looked around and saw that BR was scratching his beard and smiling, as if he had understood.

Oh. I wish he had…

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If you liked this, you will like the other Star Wars conversations also – https://bitly.com/bundles/rodinhood/l

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Master of the Universe – George Lucas – please pardon me for borrowing Yoda’s time. This is a non commercial post and intended to make a serious point for the betterment of India.  
May the force be with you.

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Special thanks to Amol  & Games2win for image work!

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