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How to write effective e-mail proposals!

In the last 14 years or so I’ve received zillions of e-mail proposals. On an average day I get 200 e-mails (not counting spam and social media notifications). So how does one break the clutter and get my (or the next person’s) undivided attention? By writing an EFFECTIVE E-MAIL!

It need not always be creative or out-of-the-box. Simple, direct and effective usually work the best. Add a little intrigue and it becomes memorable.

Here some of my tips to write an effective e-mail. 

There is a homework slide in the end. So PLEASE PLEASE e-mail us your examples so we can update this PPT with the best e-mails (yes, we’ll give you credit!). Also comment with your own special tips!

Check this “Perfect e-mail Pitch”

From: Bianca Frutos
To: alok@games2win.com
Subject: Games2Win’s Cap Table & 409A

Hi Alok — My name is Bianca and I am an evangelist for eShares. We’re the fastest growing cap table management platform in the country (4000+ private companies) and I wanted to let you know how we can add value for your team.

We solve a simple problem. The truth of your cap table is held in the equity you give to employees and investors, but that equity is often tracked in an excel spreadsheet. If there’s a discrepancy between the two, your cap table is no longer correct and that’s a problem.

With eShares, it’s always correct. You can issue stock, options and other securities directly through our platform, and your cap table gets updated in real time. No more chasing paper, spreadsheets, or waiting for signatures. eShares brings everyone and everything onto one consolidated platform.

Truly think we could be helpful, please check out our website and let us know if you’d like additional information on any of our services!

Bianca Frutos
Sales Development
195 Page Mill Rd Suite 101
Palo Alto, CA 94306

There is a wonderful example of how someone wrote a “terrible e-mail” and how I told him off and then how he took the feedback so positively that I created a post about it! – The Egoless, Hungry, Humble Entrepreneur ALWAYS WINS . [I’m sure I’ve told off many many people but only a few took it in the right spirit 🙂 ]

Another unconventional example is a PPT i received recently! It got my attention for sure! 

Share some examples of effective e-mails you’ve received in the past…

*******

UPDATE BY ASHA – dec 31, 2013

We’ve been getting shiploads of emails. Sharing one of the best (as selected by Alok)

 

Superb Start Team IIE!

Dinesh Juneja <dinesh@creativaindia.com>

1:22 AM (10 hours ago)

to alokme
Hi Team,
Hope you’re doing well.
I came across your reference on the www.therodinhoods.com community. Truly appreciate the initiative and with such a service being the need of the hour, it has the potential to go a long way.
As a Digital Marketer, I was hoping to contribute with some quick suggestions that might help you grow your venture. Do share your kind feedback if you think they might work:
1. Build a mobile friendly website: Majority people view updates on their phones. So, make sure your website is mobile compatible and a variety of browsers. Don’t forget to keep the content simple, straight forward and focused on the WHAT, WHY, HOW.
2. Focus on one channel: Stick to focusing on only one medium to start with. As you are aiming to reach aspiring/early entrepreneurs, LinkedIn would be the most suitable option to explore.
3. Invite Viewpoints: Do try approaching established entrepreneurs in helping you spread the message. They have a fan following of the right kind of TG that you are looking to reach. A few suggestions would include Mahesh Murthy, Vishal Gondal and Kunal Shah.
If you need any further assistance, do share your co-ordinates and I will get in touch with you. And in case you are in Delhi, do join us for a cup of coffee at our office in Noida.
We run a young Digital Advertising firm – Creativa India and would love to have you over.
Wishing you all the very best.

Dinesh Juneja
Co-Founder | Creativa India
M: +91-9871112247
T: +0120-4159625
One Stop Advertising LLP
Connect with me on: 
 
 
 
Creativa India – Connecting People using digital media, as PEOPLE are most important

 

**************

First Published on: Dec 24, 2013

 

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17 Comments

  1. Profile photo of asha chaudhry

    the first #MockMail has hit my inbox!!!!

  2. Profile photo of Alok Rodinhood Kejriwal

    wow!

  3. Profile photo of Gagan Gupta

    Hello Dear Alok Sir,

    Tweeted you about two months ago to ask that how can I meet to you, and you asked me to mail but I was very confused that how to write you and what to write.

    Now when you are suggesting me the format I’ll surely be able to send you a perfect mail. 

    Thanks to share this awesome presentation. Will drop my experimental mail to you 😛 Hahahaha

    Regards,

    Gagan

  4. Profile photo of Govind G Prajapati

    Seems like its Recipe  of Spam emails !!

    I do receive such formated email and most of them are spams.

    Even someone unknown adress me by greeting me with some good words and all, my trigger hits oh man not again,

    And I just read few more line to confirm if its spam or not, and trash it as soon as possible.

    some of time it may not be spam but it triggers my 7th Sense (I ve one Extra).

  5. Profile photo of Alok Rodinhood Kejriwal

    sorry this did not work for you. How about helping in writing guidelines for people that doesn’t sound like a ‘recipe for spam mails’?

  6. Profile photo of Govind G Prajapati

    I think main thing here we lack is effective subjectline, most of emails

    dont have good subject line which is indicative of content, if Subjectline is Enough to create interest to recipient it will never go to spam, less words and which speaks more.

    First mail shall never have complete details about recipient’s interest and recipient shall be obliged to reply back you for asking for detailed information.

    People never respond to something they don’t want to know more about. so create interest with basic information which doesn’t sound like some scam or phishing.

    P.S. If you are writing Newsletter contents Follow W3C Compliance and Can Spam Act Compliance, Make sure your list is clean and double opted.

  7. Profile photo of Govind G Prajapati

    Ok i think when i saw this post first, that slide didnt appeared at first(may be slow internet), and i just seen that image with 5 steps, I take my words back. read whole ppt, and found it contains what i look for.

  8. Profile photo of Aravind Gogineni

    I did try and received an amazing feedback from Alok. Thank you Alok ji.

  9. Profile photo of Pawan Deokule

    Hi Alok,

    Just a minor correction that I would like to point out.

    The use of the word, “revert” is very popular in emails. However, “revert” does not mean respond, or will respond; it actually is more pertinent to science – ‘to take something back to its original state’.

    The usage of the word in your PPT will mislead most of us to continue using this word in our emails to mean – respond. Albeit your usage of the word is not incorrect, but in forethought it is better to omit this word completely while talking about emails to remove its incorrect usage.

    Thank you for this PPT, it does take one back to basics; which we tend to forget over time and as a result end up making poorly written emails passé

  10. Profile photo of asha chaudhry

    just updated the post with one of the best emails sent to us by Dinesh Juneja!

  11. Profile photo of Dinesh Juneja

    Thanks would be an understatement Sir and Asha ma’am. This is the best gift I could have got for myself and my team. I started up because of Sir, watching him at IIT-Bombay Entrepreneurship Summit in 2009 in discussion with Mr. Vishal Gondal and Mr. Mahesh Murthy and this coming from him means the most to me.

    Once again, I truly value your time and effort in going through each mail. One of them being mine. Best wishes for the New Year to everyone at Rodinhood.

    Obo, Jgd

    Warm Regards,

    Dinesh Juneja

  12. Profile photo of Darshan Bhambiru

    This Post would always be a Part of the Arsenal, Locked and Loaded!! 

    Bookmarked and Ready to Shoot as and Whenever Required! 🙂

  13. Profile photo of Nimesh Chaudhary

    i tried lot of time and this is what i have thought to write a good mail…

    Respected Sir,
    Greetings from the* **Faculty of Technology and Engineering, M.S.U.,
    Vadodara*!! It is our immense pleasure that we got an opportunity to write
    this letter.

    With equal pride, we would like you to know that students of Faculty of
    Technology and Engineering, M.S.U. have been conducting PARAMARSH, a
    National Level Event which is the largest in the entire West Zone which
    attracts *18,000 students every year.* It has now entered its 13th consecutive
    year. You must be well-versed with the fact, that inspite of a sound
    technical knowledge, the to-be Engineers of our country lag the necessary
    soft skills which can get them a good job or which can inculcate in them
    the entrepreneur streak. That’s why we have been organizing PARAMARSH which
    acts as a vital shot in the arm to improve their Oratory and Leadership
    skills.

    Sir, we are planning to organize a Talk Show-“Follow Your Dream” in our
    event where we have invited many other personalities from different fields
    to come together. It will be a honor if you could join us in this endeavor.
    This year PARAMARSH will be organised * **20th, 21st and 22nd **of
    September.*

    We know that it would be extremely difficult for you to take out your time
    from your busy schedule.* *Hoping for a positive response from your side.

    Thank You.

    Nimesh Chaudhari
    nimeshchaudhary16@gmail.com
    09974945668

  14. Profile photo of asha chaudhry

    here’s an old article i came across which might be helpful to people reading up on this topic.

    it’s called ‘one of the best cold mails i’ve ever received’

    http://okdork.com/2013/04/18/cold_email/

  15. Profile photo of Rohan M Wani

    Hi Alok,

    I have recently started following you, can you emphasize on subject of email, as its first step of communication between sender and receiver.

  16. Profile photo of Amit Shroff

    Hi Alok I read this today and sent you a #MockMail, I look forward for your suggestions and comments.!!

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