This blog post comes out of a conversation at Delhi’s Nehru Park with my brother-in-law earlier today. Talking about health & the role of organic food, our conversation moved onto old age and i shared (once again) with him my ideas about the need for people in their 60’s moving to villages and giving back to society. I’ve written everything i had to say on this topic at my blog, but my experience of this conversation with him, his initial (and totally justified) angry reaction, nudged me to write this here, and hopefully reach a larger audience and create more momentum behind this idea.
Move To Villages : Gramprastha (the new Vanprastha)
I propose that urban Indian couples, as they retire (or get past the 60 year age mark) and are still healthy and fairly independent, must move small towns (such as Dharamshala), or semi-urban areas (such as urbanized villages around Rohtak in Haryana), or even better — to completely rural areas in interiors of India.
Four Stages of Life in Manusmriti
The ancient Indian organization of society encouraged a four-phased approach to life namely,
- Bhramacharya (age of learning; celibacy),
- Grihastha (married life; pursuit of wealth & desires),
- Vanprastha (receding from life; retirement; beginning of spiritual pursuits),
- Sanyasa (renunciation of all worldly life and leaving for forests in pursuit of the Divine).
I am no pundit in the study of Vedic life, but these 4 stages of life make all the sense intuitively to me.
This body is a loan from the Earth
Here is a thought that i my Guru (Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev) has shared several times during his discourses. The words are not exactly how he said it, but i’ve captured the essence as i understood it.
The body is a loan from the earth. The banana you ate became your body. You accumulated it here. So when it is time to give it up, do it gracefully.
Do we pass away in Grace?
No. Most of us do not. How many of my readers here have had grandparents who died in hospitals, with their chests being pumped by doctors in trying to “revive” them? How did you feel when you saw that? Or how many have had grandparents or parents being rushed to hospital in old age, over and over again for some medical emergency or another?
In my experience i’ve felt a sense of disgust in such living and old age. While the trigger for this feeling might have been my own relatives going through this trauma (including relatives who i have adored, loved & deeply respected) this feeling is not limited to them alone; there is an overall sense of angst whenever i hear of old people shuttling between home and hospital.
Clearly there is no Grace or graceful passing away in such experience – not for the patient and not for the patient’s family either.
Do we live gracefully?
Unfortunately, we do not even live gracefully while we’re healthy. We smoke, drink & ingest animals; push our bodies endlessly in our pursuit of wealth and property and give it little or no time for exercise. Investment in our mind via Meditation or Dhyana, is almost impossible and perhaps even frowned upon by our family, friends & colleagues.
Actually, here lies the trouble.
When we break our body and mind down over decades of our healthy working life, how are we expected to have a healthy and robust old age? And clearly with an unhealthy body during old age, staying away from a disgraceful passing away is a near impossibility. You’d be terribly lucky if you do.
Role of Western Medicine
Western Medicine has helped helped us elongate our lives. But mostly it ends up adding years to our sick bodies.
Why do we mourn dying?
When i was little, perhaps not even 12-13 years old, my grandfather had told me (several times over) the story of a King who had a wise-man standing next to his throne all day reminding him of the imminence of death. “Remember Death!” — whispering this into the king’s ear every few minutes was the only job this person had. This, it seems, kept the king focussed on delivering his duties well while constantly remaining aware of the impermanence of this body and anything it accumulates.
Nelson Mandela recently passed away, and messages of a “Big loss” & “A sad day for people of so & so country” & “We’re shocked” were the messages pouring in from political leaders around the world.
To be honest, i found this dishonest, stupid and a tad repugnant. That great man was already in a terrible state — dragging his dying body along in hospitals — in all likelihood without him being aware of what he was being made to go through. Were these people sending in the condolences expecting Mandela to live forever that they expressed their shock? Or were they wishing for him to carry on under a ventilator in hospitals suffering along without having a say in what he was being made to undergo? Everyone mourns passing away of old people these days — even when they pass away in ripe old age having lived a terrific life, or when they pass away in hospitals after years of suffering.
I find this crazy. In India, we had a practice of celebrating death when an old person passed away. Cities have given up this practice. Thankfully, this is still alive in villages or among rural folk living on the fringes of city-life. You might have experienced, once in a while — passing by a Shamshan Ghat — a dead body being taken for cremation, with balloons and fritters and people ringing bells.
I am reminded again, and should remind the reader of what my Guru says, “The body is a loan from the earth. The banana you ate became your body. You accumulated it here. So when it is time to give it up, do it gracefully.“
Dependence in old age is not good
I hope my reader is still with me. I am building up a case for defending my proposition against the argument that i have heard most often — “how can we leave our parents in their old age when they cannot see properly, have heart problems or diabetes, or need our support the most?“.
If this is the state of your parents, then clearly, you cannot. It’s too late already. And you, and they, are probably stuck! Stuck in the rut of your old parents’ dependence on you and on hospitals, for the rest of their life. They are dependent upon you, and you are probably — silently perhaps, but surely somewhere deep inside — unhappy about this situation. Your family values might not allow you to confront this situation, but perhaps you silently resenting the lack of more freedom. And there is reason to feel this way really — you and your children have your entire lives in front of you.
Add “Life” to your life
“It is not length of life, but depth of life” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
But if your parents and other loved ones in their old age are healthy, then perhaps it is the best time for them to take some radical steps and create a new home in places where their lives can clearly be a lot better; to spaces outside the city where they can breathe fresh air, work with the land and produce some food themselves, teach a local village/town school, paint, learn music, and if they are really motivated individuals — then dive deeper into realizing Gandhi’s vision of Gram-Swaraj.
Small towns & villages clearly offer a better life — better air, more opportunities of service, healthier food, and simply more space.
They might not offer hospitals
Yes, they might not. But are you going to live your life waiting for the day that you have to go to a hospital? Is that the quality of life you want for yourself?
And most small towns these days do have city based branded hospitals (such as Fortis or Max) at short distances. For example, Dharamshala has a big Fortis hospital in Kangra, 20km away from the main city-center.
Dedicate the last 20 years of life to Service!
Excuse me for speaking to two different audiences in this blog — folks who are nearing or are past their 60’s already, and their children.
Allow me to tie all that i have said here.
- The body is our loan from the earth. It is our obligation to give it back gently when the time comes
- Even if you do not like this fact, this is a truth you have to face; the sooner you do, the better it will be for you
- Death is okay. It is imminent.
- Strive to live a healthy life, so that you can have a healthy old age
- Old age becomes pleasant when you move to small-towns or ideally, villages
- If you are healthy, old age is a great time to give back to society from which you have taken so much during your prime years.
Give the last 20 years of your lives to service. Move out to villages! Imagine the change you can bring. If hundreds of thousands of couples did this, imagine the positive social change this would cause in villages. With your knowledge the children will find a brighter future; seeking your money, better medical services and urban facilities will follow. You will find a more healthier, and more importantly a self-expressed life, thus fulfilling your greater spiritual purpose on this planet.
The original blog post is at: https://danceofshiva.wordpress.com/2012/07/15/the-need-for-a-new-vanprastha-ashram-a-move-to-villages/
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About the Author: Hi, am new to this forum. This is my first post here. Enrolled here as i thought it to be a good idea to give an increased reach to what i believe would be considered valuable thoughts and ideas (beating my own trumpet). I am the CEO at www.srijan.net, a content management consulting and solutions company. On my twitter profile (@rahuldewan) i describe myself as: Entrepreneur/ Blogger/ Drupal/ Agile/ Open source evangelist/ Green activist/ Pilgrim / Meditator / India.
Gurpreet Singh Tikku
Deepak …. Thanks Jee.