“When you stereotype me as one of this society, i have the unconscious obligation to live up-to the expectations of that stereotype. Therefore, i refuse steadfastly to be stereotyped, and apologize for not fulfilling the expectations attached. Let me be random, unexpected, unabashed, unrepentant, and spontaneous. Why should i be always be crumbling under a pressure of the unconscious fact that my actions should be meant to appease you, please you, and conform to your and your society’s norms….”
Ramesh was interrupted mid-sentence by Smita; the argument was again tilting towards the fact that Ramesh’s obsession with his work was not taking into account the fact that He and Smita were soon going to be married, and they needed to give more time to each other to let the relation blossom.
“Ramesh, i don’t mean to come between you and your professional aspirations, but you DO need to understand that as a woman, i have expectations from you. And you, and only you can and should fulfill them. Why you should be giving my share of time to your business”.
The whole discussion was coming to that same old conclusion again.
“Smita, i try my best to mold myself to your liking. But you have to realize this fact again that you have chosen a weirdo as your partner, and you are bound to have behavioral problems from me which you wouldn’t have been getting from a normal man. I don’t mean to be rude, but i am too addicted to my goals. You might find me often aloof from you and un-responsive, and irrelevant to your life, in life. So, would that be okay with you ?”. Ramesh was finding himself saying the oft-repeated statements.
“But, there are other men too; they also work, they also have spouses, they also give time to their family and life. Why should you be doing it so differently”. Smita always failed to understand this logical thing.
“Smita, there is a difference in how much one dreams, and to what extent he/she is ready to die for it. Some people go to mountains for their dreams, some people go to cities for their dreams, and some just stay alone for their life for their dreams, and some…”. Ramesh was trying to take control of the situation in his best capacity, but he knew he was pitted against the norms of the society, of whose mirror was his fiancee, Smita. He couldn’t wrong her, as she was justified in her expectations from her partner living in an ideal world, under ideal conditions.
” Stay alone ??….” Smita was aghast. How could someone say and think like that, to single , just like that. It was late, till Ramesh realized that he had dropped a bomb. Now, he had to act fast.
But Smita was faster.
“Ramesh, you can’t say that. The fact is that life is to be lived with 50% heart, and 50% brain. You are talking about giving 100% to your brain. The heart is there for loving, do you really expect me to be standing by with you all the while you toil for your dream and don’t demand even iota of your time ? Can’t i demand a small chunk of you time for me? What will you do when you have achieved your dreams, with whom shall you celebrate and share the success ? Whom shall you turn to when you have failures on the way for consolation…”
“Smita, i really can manage all my problems and struggles alone, i console myself and i don’t need…..”- Ramesh was trying to demonstrate that he was best suited to make him sail the currents alone, without a partner.
“Ramesh, you wouldn’t ever understand….” Smita couldn’t just hold her helplessness and burst out in tears, and rushed out.
Ramesh walked into the balcony for a whiff of fresh air; taking out a cigarette.
Down below, the world was going on its own speed, men were making a dash to fight against the daily cycle of living, there was motion everywhere. This motion was the cause and effect of Dreams. Dream to complete one day of life, to emerge victorious, to emerge a faster rat among the population of rats. He had this dream to make it big, and he learned and un-learned on the way that emotions were a hindrance to his dreams.
But when you have a heart, you can’t stop emotions from taking over; even when you are dreaming, its nothing all but emotions.
He knew Smita had put up with his tantrums all along and supported him all these years, and there was no one who could understand him better. But now, it seemed that he would have to forego this pleasure of an understanding companion because of the fire in his belly. He had a emerging business to run, and all that was on his mind was the roadmap containing IPO in 2 years, production worth 500 Cr in next 4 years, and become India’s one of best packaging company. He was pained to realized that he couldn’t afford the luxury of a life-support partner in his quest.
He felt a hand on his shoulder.
It was Smita.
“We will achieve together”.
“Yes, we will achieve it together, honey. Life will be good.”-The human in Ramesh was taking over now, his voice choked.
The sun was setting in the far horizon, but it was appearing hazy orange, due to tear in four eyes.
