Being a part of 4 budding start-ups (Including one of my own) I realized there were good number of similarities amidst running a start-up and being in a relationship.
*Disclaimer: These are my personal opinions; you have all the right to differ. Also, its male oriented. (Ladies you might want to differ even more)
So coming back to the point of departure, let me give you a quick jest, of why am I writing this blog. Over the span of few years I’ve met and dated a few women, some beautiful, some witty and many of them were super blonde (they looked pretty though). Last year, towards the end of May I started HiringMonk (a unique recruitment firm for start-ups and SMEs across India), whilst focusing on functioning the company, there were considerable correlations between the women I dated and the firm I was running. I have listed them all in pointers to have a better go at it!
Stage 1: The Adventurous thoughts of getting into one:-
A phase in life where you are all excited about this particular girl/concept. That you are ready to do whatever it takes to make sure it happens. You travel distances, you meet new people, take suggestions from friends, make all the wondrous plans of how it will be after you get into it. Let everyone know how beautiful/awesome she/it is. That, nothing in the world would matter more than this. The only thought that goes all day is to get it started as soon as possible.
Common symptoms; *No hunger *No sleep *Planning all the time *Waiting for some revert.
Stage 2: The pleasure of starting one:-
I bet no entrepreneur (specifically startupreneur) would have a second thought to this. Once you get along with your start-up/girlfriend, you want run around everywhere and broadcast your affair to all the peers and friends. There are social media updates about the new affair (start-up/relationship). You start uploading pictures and statuses of how awesome your start-up/relationship is. You are busy getting it official. You always have an answer to, “What’s up with you bro?” It looks like, your life is all set, and there could never be anything better than this. An awesome girlfriend, an awe-inspiring start-up, what does one want more in life?
Common symptoms; *Still no sleep *Always day dreaming *Spending most of the time with or thinking of her (read as start-ups & girlfriends) *You love all bollywood romantics/silicon valley movies.
This all stays the same for at least the initial 21 days (behavioral habits). But wait, the real story is yet to unveil.
Stage 3: The firsts of everything:
You cherish and enjoy all the firsts. The first client, the first kiss, the first payment, the first gift, the first hire and a lot of other firsts (if you know what I mean). Mind you, that happens for the 1st and last time only.
Common Symptoms: *You become very emotional for everything that’s happening around.
Stage 4: The reality sinks in:-
In a month or two you wonder this isn’t going according to what you really thought it should have been. They have their own tantrums bro!
You give them time, they need more of it, you give them attention, and they still crib for more. You don’t have a life of your own anymore; all that goes in your head is how to keep her happy. You make sure that you do everything to take this engagement to another level altogether. In the process of giving time to them, your friends call up in regular intervals to let you know that you don’t have time for them anymore and that you’ve built up and “imaginary super ego” (which you aren’t aware of for miles).
Common Symptoms: *Forget your good old sleep *Always on the phone *Tensed
Stage 5: Peer Pressure (Tu kar kya raha hai?)
Your parents are on a roll, what are you doing? Don’t you think the previous one was better? (read as : the previous job/date). They are in-fact more concerned about your relationship than what you’re. Why is it so flashy? I don’t understand what are you doing? What culture/caste does it/she follow?
Aaargh! Too many questions and trust me they will come up time and again, even when you’ve tried answering them in all the possible ways and methods.
Common symptoms: *Don’t feel like sticking around at home *Gets irritated quickly
Stage 6: Competitors
You will never have a relationship/company without competitors. They make you go bonkerz. We all know the competitors in the startup world, but in the arena of your relationship there will be a lot of competitors disguised as best friends, Ex boyfriends, New friends, Colleagues, neighbors. Infact competitors and not only domestic they’re international too. And if you think you’re too lucky to not have one, don’t be happy, there’s one in the making!
Common Symptoms: *You start stalking/keeping check on contemporaries *Confused *You make up and breakup your mind quickly *On a spree to experiment new things
Stage 7: FTW
That crucial stage just before everything could be just alright, where you get all the weird thoughts possible. Did I make the right decision? What is this doesn’t work out?
There seems to be no proper response from either of it. You wonder if you should call off this relationship and move on. You reminisce of your good old past. A point where you are royally fed up and just want to let go off everything.
Common Symptoms: *You love to stay alone-no social activity * Always in your thoughts
Stage 8: The Rainbows and Sunshine
That phase where things start to settle down. They start understanding you and your efforts. It all pays off and how. You get recognition for what you’re doing and that of you’ve been doing from a very long time. Your parents/friends finally get that peace of mind. You feel loved and adored. Feeling words can’t define.
Common symptoms: *Happy *Confident *Hustler mode on
They say, all’s well that ends well, but that’s not the end to this story. Being in a relationship and running a startup is life filled with ups and downs. There will be highs, super highs and amazingly drastic lows. What matters is how strongly you hold on to your nerves after the hit and bounce back even stronger. After all what’s life without it, even the ECG machine shows a straight line when you’re dead.
Lessons learnt:
*You cannot have a picture perfect life, you need to make the one you have picture perfect.
*You cannot keep everyone happy at the same time.
*There will be times when you’ll have to prioritize, choose wisely and once chosen don’t look back, keep moving.
*Have your friends along, they’re your biggest motivator!
That’s all folks!
-Preetam Salian
www.hiringmonk.com