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RodinStar / Startup

It was my birthday, and I chose to be reborn

 

At the inauguration of startup warehouse with the NASSCOM team

At the inauguration of startup warehouse with the NASSCOM team

When I quit my job in December 2015 on my birthday with NASSCOM 10,000 Startups, I fooled my parents, the world around me and, more importantly, myself, into believing that I had a plan.

In actual fact, all I had was a freelance assignment with an Asian blog and a detailed execution plan of my business idea seeded in my head and on Ever note for the past three years,while in search of a tech co-founder. I always knew that I cannot code (it’s even more difficult than algebra!), so I didn’t want to spoil something that I’m not an expert at. Hence, I identified a geeky nerd who believed in my vision and would support me in building it out as a side project,with no money involvedjust passion and vision and the right people working on it. And with that, I was all set to “do cool shit” that made me believe that my destiny did not lie on a chair revolving in the hallways of some corporate building.

Today, I’m a self-appointed director of happiness.

Don’t judge me reading that.  I did not quit my corporate life. In fact, I can never quit: I am a tough piece of metal and need to be put into positions of discomfort, challenged, and be held accountable. If I’m not getting that, then I will quit.

I’ve embarked on my journey to make it in a world that doesn’t often listen, waiting for the right moment. I’ve always been in love with the brands that I worked for, burning the midnight oil, though this love kept rising and falling with my temper on days like today. Being in a conventional job for the past eight years made me realise that unless I found the challenges I wanted, nobody was ever going to take me seriously.

Ya, I’m worried that I may not match up to the ideals and heroes that I relate to, but hey, I don’t intend to be Musk or Zuck because I’m in love with life no matter how hard it gets. I’m in love with helping people and earning credibility and respect for my work, which is something money can’t buy. I’m a self-appointed director of happiness.

My struggle continues everyday.

The last six months have been incredibly challenging. I had several plans and more let downs than I’d like to admit.  I’m genuine.  Who doesn’t want to hire me for their digital content work, right? I fought with my family for not settling down in life and ignored my friends. I have questioned my decision every day since I left my job. Sometimes, I would rather just not answer the question of how I am, because I felt I might collapse on the person asking.

My struggle continues every day. I fight for more hours.  I worry I haven’t been a good daughter or sister and expect my friends to dump me for the time that I spend behind a laptop or on the phone when I’m out with them. Also, sometimes it’s all too clear that to be an entrepreneur means that you really shouldn’t have a social life what so ever because, after all, who needs support when you break down and can’t say the words anyway, right?

Today, however, was a great day. I’ve signed two international business deals and managed to write this piece out (I can only write when I feel it). I still have a very rough plan for what I’m doing, but today I know that whatever I’ve done is sending me in the right direction. I have so much to be grateful for today. And yes, sometimes I do wakeup late or take afternoon naps, and then feel terribly guilty afterwards.

With a bunch of super cool Egyptian folks making a mark in the startup world.

With a bunch of super cool Egyptian folks making a mark in the startup world.

I would like to salute all of the powerful women that I’ve encountered on my journey. There have been very few inspiring men for me, but there have been countless women. This post is dedicated to them –all the women pushing for their own version of success that I’ve had the chance to befriend and work with, in the last few years. I have learnt a great deal from you all. It was really you who kept me going as a woman!

First published here.

@vartikamanasvi

 

 

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5 Comments

  1. hey vartika,

    i clearly remember meeting up with you when i was in delhi after you had just resigned. and i was impressed by your plan. still am 🙂

    i think it’s incredibly brave of you to have chased your dreams – experimented with different assignments (when i met you i seriously thought i wish i had this kind of opportunity when i was single!!) – travelled and STILL pursuing what you love the most!

    what you’re going through – the questions you’re asking yourself are exactly the same as all of us do. not a day goes by when i don’t ask myself if i’m being a good mother, a good homemaker when the truth is i neglect my home front coz i’m online all the time 🙂

    more power to what you do. and all the very best!! your re-birth totally rocks!

    ps: you’re an amazing writer – keep writing and sharing!!

  2. Thanks so much Asha. Like I said salute to all power women who crossed my path some or the other way ! You definitely are one of them ! So thank you so much always for being there. This is tough man, but this too shall pass. Hugs!

  3. Vartika, I have vaguely known you. We have even met and greeted each other. But today, even without being face to face I have fallen in love with you! Do your thing and just try to be least guilty about everything that you do. Best wishes for the wonderful journey ahead (it will get more and more joyous.. !!!)

    And lastly, let’s catch up!!!

  4. Thank u so much Anamika. I remember all our brief meetings, I have a database memory actually more than that I don’t forget grounded people. thanks again, will catch up soon maybe at RH meetup 🙂

  5. hey vartika,

    i ruined the bottom part of your post 🙂

    sowrie!

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