Letter to my Mom!

Mummy, it’s been years since I have written to you. I hope I am able to do it more often henceforth, as I know how you love reading and writing them.

When I decided to write a letter I asked myself if I have something to say to you or if there is something which I still haven’t said. Should I write about what all you have done for me and how I feel that I will never be able to repay it? Should I write about how I want to make you proud of me and how I feel I have still not been able to? Should I write about the moments when I took you for granted, got angry at you, got irritated and behaved unreasonably?

But then I decided I will write about you and not us. About how wonderful you are, not just as a mother but as a wife, sister and a human being.

You were raised along the side of river, living in a bungalow, studying ‘Premchand’ and with a sense of freedom to pursue your dreams and aspirations. Being the eldest you became more than a sister to your four siblings. Unknowingly or knowingly you started sacrificing your dreams and your career to help your mother raise the kids. It was not a burden for you but selfless love for your brothers and sisters. Your family became your life and it still is.

You got married. From the banks of Ganga, you started living in dry and deserted Bikaner. From having a lush lawn and a bungalow made in the British era you were living on the first floor of a small house located in the lanes of old Bikaner. The girl who used to read Hindi Literature and discuss about everything and anything with her father while walking in the huge garden said yes to be a part of a family which was not in the best of the time during those days.

For a long time I used to ask myself that why you opted to get married in this family. In spite of the losses my paternal family has seen, in spite of the major educational and cultural gap between the two families, in spite of the financial condition we were in, you decided to get married. In the times I live when people end relationship over small issues, your answer was – Because I found that your father is a good human being and with a good support he can take the family out from this tough time.

And you both did it, did it very well.

One cannot imagine how difficult it must have been to accept the change.  Not only living in a different culture but also building a family at a young age. My father’s sibling becames your new brother and sisters. Your new family became your life and it still is.

With everybody’s support it took you almost two decades of hard work, patience, lots of sacrifice and selfless love for everyone around you to build this family. With two annoying and one obedient kid things were finally good. 

But it seems like things were never going to be easy for you. I fell ill and was bedridden. You had to start everything from the scratch. Right from feeding me with your hands to bathing me, together you and I were living my childhood again. It took me three years to gain my power back, walk again and lead a close to normal life again. I have seen you cry for me, I have seen you die a little when I was in pain. I wouldn’t have fought back if you had not been there to support me. I owe my birth and rebirth to you.

Few years back when we were trying to come out of the small setback, we lost a family member. The loss broke the structure which we all had built. During those tough times you stood up along with Dad to take the responsibility of reconstructing the family again. We both know how challenging it was for you and Dad. How you supported Dad when the loss was killing him from inside.

You are still fighting; fighting to hold the family together when my uncle was diagnosed of cancer, fighting to hold yourself together when you lost the most meaningful relationship in your life, the loss of your father. Above everything else, you still making all of us smile.

You have inspired us; to work hard, to work self less, to love everyone around you and most importantly to be a good human being.

Thank you for each and every second of your life which you lived for everyone.

I hope and I pray that soon we all can make you proud so that you can say it to the world that all your efforts were worth it.

I also wish to say this one day, that not only your family, but your own life became your life. Because, you deserve it.

The letter was written for my mom and shared on https://letterstomom.21fools.com/

This project is a small step to spread our vision. We love letters and we love all the Mothers in this world. So we thought why not ask people to write letters to their Mom and share it with us. Those letters will inspire many others to write one for their mom too. The world surely needs more messaging apps but they also need beautiful letters. 

So what are you waiting for? Write one for your mom and make her smile. Do not forget to share with us. Visit https://letterstomom.21fools.com/ for more details.